Ignored, and underappreciated!

The Clio Awards were just held this May. And per usual, the accomplishments of babies were severely underrepresented. The Clio's are awards for the advertising industry. Now, in America every 30 minutes of television contains about 10 minutes of advertising. Then during the late night and early morning you have straight infomercials. That's more than 30% of airtime in the country dedicated to advertising. A substantial amount of that is advertising about babies, for babies, and by babies. But were any of them recognized by the Clio's? Well, probably not. They have tons of categories and lots of level of prizes. But I know of one stunning example of infomercial advertising that was done by a baby for babies. Nene is a legend in the baby community: she revolutionized baby health and beauty products. Her latest truimph, "Hair Club for Babies" is a masterpiece. Before Nene all that was available to bald babies was the ridiculous "Baby Toupee", hats or ridiculously big flowers on headbands. Nene took hair club for babies to astronomical heights. She is not only the founder and president; she is their first client. Her infomercial was seen and appreciated the world over by every overnight shift worker, from ER Doctors to 24hr Diner waitresses. When Nene is on TV everyone stops to watch. Everyone but the pompous, Adult centric, age-ist committee over at the Clio Awards. Nene's hair is real, she can brush it, cut it, swim with it, and deliver a beautifully produced, informative, emotionally moving infomercial. Baby baldness is rampant in this country, and Nene found the cure. She deserves to be recognized for that! This baby has built an empire of hair care products! So even if no one else will appreciate what you have done for this country, I do Nene. I do!

Baby Haters

Amazing, it turns out the Oscars do have the ability to change. Did they prove this by adding a category for an under-represented and marginalized population in Hollywood? No, they expanded their Best Picture category to further pat themselves on the back. And to this day the work of baby actors everywhere is ignored and under appreciated. The Best Picture category which has historically paid homage to the more artsy/independent/historical features has expanded to include some of the more highly viewed blockbuster types. It is the norm now for babies to be ignored by Hollywood, but why do their movies have to be ignored as well? Lt. Baby has been the go to actor for epic war movies for weeks now. His portrayal as the hard as nails Major Baby in “Iron Heart” moved many to tears. The fictional story based on many true events of a POW in the Korean War. Major Baby fights, gets captured, survives, and captures our hearts. He comes home from the war a broken Baby, he can’t keep a job or a friend. He learns something about friendship from another soldier at the VA waiting for a heart transplant. Major Baby finds redemption through true human connection. Could this have been so poignantly portrayed by someone else? Tom Hanks-Never, Russell Crow-Hardly, Bard Pitt-He calls Lt. Baby for acting advice. Lt. Baby is the only one in Hollywood who could pull this off and again he has been completely ignored by the Academy. And as a double slap in the face, his movie has been ignored as well, I guess $350 million in box office revenue isn't proof enough for the academy. Baby actors are here to stay! Shame on you Oscar, shame on you.

Real Babies on Reality TV

Well, the Emmy nominations were just announced and I’m sure everyone noticed there are two categories for reality shows, one for regular reality and one for competitive. Of course reality shows focusing on babies were COMPLETELY ignored. How good was “I’m a Baby, get me outta here” “Extreme Baby Makeovers” or “When Babies Attack!”. A particular stand out was the Discovery Channel Special “Fluorinated Water: Good or Bad for Society”. EV was a featured segment in that show, we all knew she was an amazing stunt baby, and growing teeth is always an awkward phase for baby actors. When doctors noticed her teeth coming in at only 2 months old it was discovered that EV’s home was in an area contaminated by massive amounts of fluoride. Her honest and heartfelt treatment of her affliction touched the hearts of everyone in the country. The final scene where she was able to bite through a solid steel pacifier reduced a country to tears. “Fluorinated Water” had the not only the highest ratings ever of a cable program, it beat 3 networks that same night. Who didn’t cry? The committee that nominates for The Emmy’s. Why? Why are babies relegated to second class citizenship? Why won’t they be noticed for their intense dedication to the craft of acting, for their prowess in performing? They work through naptime, snack time, playgroups, and still, no recognition. Will anyone give baby actors the props they deserve? Anyone?

Just in the nick of time!

Sometimes I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall! It's like the Academy doesn't even hear me. Every movie these days starts with a plea to silence your cell phones and be quite during the movie. But I can't be quite about the under-represented rights and validation of the babies and children in these movies! I call for everyone to make a stand and say NO MORE! We're here, we're babies, we want to be fed, changed, and win major Hollywood awards! Is that so much to ask Mr. Oscar? I DON'T THINK SO. Last night Slumdog Millionaire won a staggering 8 Oscars, 8! How many did little actors that portray Jamal or Latika win? ZERO, how many were there nominated for? NONE. Would that movie have been worth the price of the paper the tickets were printed on with out those young actors, NOT A CHANCE!

Thank goodness though, the night before at the boring technical Oscars the famous baby stunt actor Miss-E-V made it to the event just in time to pick up her Oscar for Best Stunt Fetus in an action flick. She stared along side another famous baby stunt man Little J in the thriller "Swing me to Siam", a Hong Kong style thriller featuring the amazing action choreography and Kung-Fu skills of Big J. Miss-E-V was obviously elated when they called her name. Congratulations on the timely arrival Miss-E-V! We look forward to all of your future projects.

**Miss-E-V is currently working on a dramatic biopic of Mrs. Butterworth, look for it in theaters this fall**

Lingo's Letdown

The indignity of it all is the worst part. The unabashed stacking of the judges, the favoritism, even the placement of the films. It all leads up to the Hollywood film festival Juggernaut know as “The Lingo’s” ousting baby directors. All of the directors who won were adults and the majority was male. What chance did a baby girl have? Baby K not only wrote and directed her movies; she also did all of the filming, editing, and sound editing. Not an easy feat. It requires skills and dedication. Just because she is a baby and needs a lot of sleep does not mean that she doesn’t spend every waking minute refining her craft. Coming up with cutting edge material! Baby K had 2 of 14 films in the whole festival and won 0 prizes. Never mind that there was not a single baby on the judging panel! Just because a group is under represented does not give the rest of the panel the right to hand out prizes to their friends. Along with the prestigious “Lingo’s” award comes, endorsements, money, studio deals. All of this is kept away from baby directors because of age-ism. End age-ism now and recognize that baby directors have a lot to contribute!

Baby K is shocked when her name is not announced!

Included below are the links to Baby K's Lingo's videos.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQJlgExgOQ0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85dWmwCyaMI

Stunt Babies

What makes a great action movie great? Obviously, the action! Have you ever noticed how the action often moves around quickly, in tight spaces, through small halls and rooms? Do you think that adults have that kind of energy, agility, and flexibility. NO, of course Hollywood doesn't want you to know this but most of the stunts are performed by babies and kids. So this is dedicated to all of the baby stunt actors out there. I know you work hard. Will "Taurus" the worldwide stuntman organization ever recognize baby stuntman? Did you see Big J in "Pirates of the Caribbean" or even see his name in the credits? NO. Did you see credits for Little J in all 3 Star Wars prequels? NO. Did you see credits for Little I in about 17 Pokemon movies released in China, Japan, Korea, and straight to DVD in Canada? NO!! Please, recognize these talented and fearless stuntbabies and children for their tireless work. They deliver performances no adult ever could.

Notice how all of their thoughts are on the 2009 "Taurus" Awards, is it a dream they will ever realize?

Emmy's 2008: Dominated by Chuck Norris

Wow, eventhough the actuall Emmy broadcast was disappointing, no one could be dissapointed in the results. Joshua's portrayal of a young Chuck Norris in the true story "Savin' Asia: AMERICAN STYLE". When Asia was threatened by an abominable snowman with rabies and ninja skills, who did we call on as a country and as the human race to save us? Chuck Norris of course. And when we needed to tell that story on the big screen in a way that makes you laugh, cry, hiccup, and sneeze all at once? Joshua! He's so famous he only needs one name. The Academy of Television Arts and Sciences was so confident in his ability he was awarded the Emmy before the movie was over! He also won best supporting actor, best director, best producer, best writing, and best American, for "Savin' Asia: AMERICAN STYLE". Kudos Joshua, you are the Chuck Norris of your generation! To top off the night Josh was awarded a lifetime achivement award and he's only 7! What's next? Joshua will be fighting for Baby's rights at the Oscars just like he Kung Fu kicked his way into the Emmy's. Watch out Academy or he will call Chuck Norris and you don't want that. YOU-SO-DON'T-WANT-THAT.